'Aerodynamics' Is Not a Verb

No matter how much you want to fit certain words into specific grammatical slots, sometimes life is just unfair to you. And honestly, there are a lot of words in the English language. Likely you can find an even BETTER one than the fake one you are attempting to mangle if you only think.

'Aerodynamics' for example - not a verb. Why should it be? "You aerodynamiced me." ?? You cause me pain is what you do.

On a less gruff note, I am a dork. Please see below for a transcript of a recent phone call to figure out why:

Lisa: Hello, this is Lisa with the B. Apartments, a family-owned business celebrating its 25th anniversary this year. J. put you down as a personal reference on his application. Do you have a quick sec to talk now?

Jessica: Sure!

[silence]

Lisa: So...tell me a little about him.

J: Umm. Like what?

L: Well, how long have you known each other?

J: That's a good question. Not really sure. [silence while I do mental calculations]. Four years? No, six. I think six.

L: Okay, well -

J: I met him at work originally and when he left that company we became friends.

L: What is the absolute first thing that pops into your head when you think J.?

J: [immediately] Funny little man.

L: [laughter]

J: No, but in a good way! A funny, funny little man. I mean, he always seems older than his years and he has a very dry humor.

L: [still laughing]

J: [lamely] I like him?

L: Okay...what else? What do you know about his background?

J: Well, he's from north central Minnesota, he's close to his family even though he doesn't want people to think he is...why am I telling you that? That has no relevance.

L: [still laughing]

J: His dad is a principal, both his parents still live in that area, he has a brother and a sister. He went to school at N. for German and History, and has a law degree now. He lived in Germany for a while and liked it way better than h...I mean, he liked it a lot there.

L: What other words would you use to describe him?

J: Well, he's a penny-pincher. I mean, he doesn't like to spend...I mean he does not spend money lightly!!

L: Okay, so he's frugal?

J: Yes! Frugal. Frugal sounds good.

L: Would you consider him respectful?

J: Yes, a very intelligent, respectful and quiet person.

L: Oh, he is quiet?

J: Yes, I should think the only noise you would here out of him would be when he is yelling at Jeopardy contestants. And, you know, that's on in the early evening, so that's good. If he is making noise it would be at a good time of day for it. Not that he's noisy even then.

L: Well, he sounds like a quiet, respectful man, someone we might like to add to the family here.

J: Yes, I think he would make a good tenant for you. He is not someone likely to cause problems with his neighbors.

L: [obviously trying to wrap things up] Well this all sounds good, I -

J: [completely unnecessarily] You should know that he orders unsweetened iced tea whereever we go!

L: [long pause] He really reminds me of my grandma after this conversation. [more laughing]

J: [embarrassed silence]

L: Thanks very much! I promise your funny little man comment will stay just between us. Though I did write it down.

J: Oh...that's great...

L: You have a good day!